Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Another part of last week's story

This introduced Lynne and Leon. Same storyline as the story I brought in last week, but a different time (further ahead). I think I might write most of this story in seperate sections then put them together, it might work better.
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8 YEAR OLD SURVIVES CHURCH FIRE
Firefighters were shocked to find a 10 years-old girl in St. Matthew‘s Cathedral, frightened but unharmed, during a fire Saturday. Calls about the fire came in around 6:30 PM Saturday evening. Details about the fire are unknown at this time. Police are currently investigating the fire, and have not said if the child found in the church is suspected to be involved…

Lynne stared down at the newspaper clipping Leon had dropped in front of her, looking back up at him with her brow narrowed.“That was you, right?” Leon asked, leaning forward with both hands down on the table. Lynne shrugged, looking away from his dark eyes.
“Police eventually found the origin of the fire. Turned out it started at the front of the church, by the doors,” Leon explained, “There’s no way someone could’ve started that and gotten out. And you were the only one in there.”
“I never said it was me,” Lynne snapped.
“Don’t try to fool me, Lynne,” Leon warned. “I’m fully aware of what you can do.”
“You don’t know anything.”
Leon smirked, taking back the newspaper clipping and sliding it into the folder in front of him. He picked it up, and flicked the front open, holding it open with one hand with the other in the pocket of his black slacks.
“Lynne Maier, 16 years old,” he read aloud, “Caucasian female, five feet four inches tall, 125 pounds. Brown hair, blue eyes. Confirmed,” he emphasized, “pyrokinetic.”
Lynne watched him suspiciously.“So?”
“Who else could have started that fire?” Leon dropped the file back onto the table.
“I don’t need that to tell me what you can do, Lynne,” he explained, his voice low, “I’ve seen it for myself.”

Lynne glared at the older man from the corner of her eye.
“So what if I did it?” she asked angrily, “My mom just dumped me there!”
Leon stepped back, walking back to his side of the table. He kept an eye on Lynne as he pulled his chair back.
“Try to not lose your temper, please,” he said calmly, “this room isn’t completely fire proof.”
Lynne shot another glare at him.
“I was 8,” she said, barely keeping her voice even, “I could barely control it then; I still can’t!” She shook her head, hanging it low.
“She just left me. She was scared of me. I lost my temper and…” she looked at Leon through her bangs. “It’s not like I did it on purpose,” she muttered. Leon’s expression was sympathetic.
“Of course I know that, Lynne,” he said soothingly. Lynne didn’t seem convinced.
“There wasn’t anyone there.”
“I know,” Leon looked through Lynne’s file again.
“We can train you,” he said, Lynne looking up at him in surprise. “Or we’ll take the necessary measures to make sure you’re not allowed in public.”
Lynne flinched back. She knew she was high up on the list of dangerous “gifted citizens”.
“So that’s the only choice I have? Go through your training program, or be locked up for the rest of my life?”
“Basically,” Leon replied.
“I would suggest training,” a smirk flickered onto Leon’s face. “I’ve seen where they keep gifted people like you, Lynne. It’s very unpleasant.”
Lynne sighed quietly.
“Guess I only have one option, then. I'll go through your stupid training.”

1 comment:

  1. I like how this is X-Men-esque, Heroes-esque, etc. It's a fun idea, for sure. The pyrokinetic thing is cool. That means "fire moving," right? Essentially, manipulation of fire. I really like your dialogue, Barbara. It reads naturally and feels realistic. I'd be interested in reading more!

    The only critiques I would have are a couple lines where it's unclear who is speaking. For example, the end where Leon says "Basically," and then the next line is also him. We know that when we get to the smile flickering onto his face, but until then, my brain wants to insert the voice of the girl, since that's usually where her dialogue would go. Does that make sense? Silly little critique, I know.

    Keep it coming! :)

    ReplyDelete