Adding a Look into a Mind

So before the small run in with the tall guy at the table, I was thinking to put a small look into his mind before it occurs. Just tell me what you think, I'm not sure if it will be too soon to see into his thoughts or not.

Watching, waiting; the assignment he had been given. His lip curled in disgust, this was the last time he would ever let himself be manipulated. But apart from that he was distracted something that he rarely—if ever—was, he could still feel her eyes on him and he didn’t know why it was so important to him that she continued to look at him; he simply just felt that it was. He looked down as his computer and at what he had unconsciously written. His eyes widened in surprise and he quickly erased it. The message didn’t even make sense.
But then he didn’t really have time to think about it when someone with red hair walked by him. A deep feeling of pure hate went through him and when their eyes met the red head flinched, recoiling away from him, looking frightened and almost surprised to see him sitting there. The red head left quickly, stumbling on a chair as he nearly ran out the door. He smirked; he always enjoyed the feeling of making others uneasy with his stare. He was in the mood for a confrontation, something to send a message to the boy sitting somewhere behind him. And that was when he saw the boy’s friends coming toward him. It was a quite a simple idea really and it would get the boy jumping to the rescue...and perhaps she would follow.

***

Jeremy wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. He was too busy laughing at something the twins were ranting about when he felt his right foot catch on something and force him face first onto the hard, ugly carpet.

Meeting #11 - 09/30/09

Our meeting tonight was a little different from the usual. It just so happened that Michele Ashman Bell, local author, was coming to speak about writing at the Taylorsville Library tonight at 7 pm. The timing could not have been more perfect. Thanks to everyone who came and I hope everyone took something valuable from it. Some major points of her presentation were:

• Don't be afraid to break the mold and be original.
• Your setting is like another character--know it well.
• Internal conflict is one thing books can do that movies usually can't.
  
• Formatting is very important when sending a manuscript to a publisher, but while writing a rough draft, the most important thing is just getting it down.
• Everyone has their own voice and style. Find your strengths and use them to your advantage.
• Be specific and include details. Don't assume your reader will fill in blanks.
• The writer who gets published isn't necessarily the most talented writer. The one who gets published is the one who is passionate about what they're writing and keeps pressing on.
• There comes a point where you have to stop listening to other people who tell you how to write your story and do it yourself, the way you know it needs to be.

Another exciting piece of news is that she asked for the URL to this blog! I told her we weren't very exciting, but she insisted. I'm honored to have a visit from someone as successful as she is. Thank you for your visit, Michele! (Hurry, everyone! Post something exciting!) By the way, her blog can be found here. She's been doing interviews with other authors, which I think is a great resource for young budding writers like ourselves.

I got a few new ideas for future meetings, too. Next Wednesday will be at my house again. We've all been doing really well with bringing new material. Let's keep it up! I'm thinking about devising some kind of reward system for people who set goals for themselves and achieve them. Does that sound helpful?

Happy writing, everyone. Enjoy the break!

Member Links

(You can either edit this post and add your information, or leave a comment and I'll do it for you.)

Group

• The Writing Somnambulists (FictionPress)
  

Jaron

• White Blues (Blog)
• Orphan Wars on FictionPress
• Fridgecrisis on NaNoWriMo.org
• Fridgecrisis on deviantArt
  

Rachel

• story of her life (Blog)
• Tsirachel on deviantArt
  

Barbara

• Bibi15 on deviantArt

Amber

• Coonzitz on FictionPress
• JRiddelbrooke on deviantArt
  

Jo

• Twilight-Relm on deviantArt
  

Nick

• Clarinick on deviantArt
  

Story Reviews by Rachel

So, I know we didn't get to really talk about our writing last night with it being pushed back (and at Jaron's house...) so I thought I'd start a note saying what I thought about everyone's pieces from last night.

Amber -- your story is really interesting so far. I think I still get a little confused with whose voice we're hearing, and which character is which, probably because we've been overloaded with characters in a short amount of time, and there are still a few dialogue tags that need commas. Other than that critique, I think that you have some great imagery and you never bore me with details. What you choose to show (and you do show vs. tell quite well) reveals a lot. It was easy to picture someone unusually tall poking over everyone else.

Barbara -- even though what you brought was very short, it was also very clever. I loved how they were dealing with screaming fangirls while they were buying milk--cheap milk to boot. And imagining the girl as a twin to this guy just made me think that she was probably not spectacularly pretty, but lovable. The voice was very distinct.

Valerie -- your story is very cute, and even though I know that Bruka is evil, it still made me smile a little bit to read about her traveling through the dark forest like an evil queen does. The story moves fast, but that's good for a children's book. Keep bringing the story to the meetings, and I'll be sure to tell you if there's anything wrong. Right now, there isn't. I really like it, and I'm sure young audiences would, too.

Jaron -- I know you didn't bring anything to the writing group, but I know you've been doing major overhaul on your story, and I like what you've showed me idea-wise. I'm sorry that the people on the writing forum confused you. I really did like the original exchange between Chameleon and Zidaiku. It was packed with emotion, and it kinda sapped me. I felt drained reading something so awesome, not even kidding.

So there you go. *hint: return the favor*

Time Change

Hey everyone. The meeting for tonight (09-23-09) has been pushed back to 8:15. I couldn't get my work shift changed in time. I hope you can still come! It'll be at my house, like usual.

Meeting #8 - 09/09/09

Tonight, we had the 999 Meeting! I intended for it to be a bigger deal than it was, but I was so swamped today and I had no energy... I'm really sorry. Next week I'll try to have an actual plan so we can get more accomplished and have a good time.

I hope you all liked the 9-shaped cookies Rachel and I made. Thanks Amber and Nick for also bringing treats. That's definitely one thing we're never short on. Haha.

I liked everyone's stories and poems. I like how I've been able to get to know your writing styles and start to get into your stories. I definitely look forward to reading more from everyone. Keep up the good work!

Next week we'll meet at my house at 7, like usual. Until then, happy writing! And don't let school weigh you down too much ;)

Meeting #7 - 09/02/09

At last week's meeting, we wrote a storm through our characters' senses with attention to imagery and even personification of the storm itself. I think it went well. I'd like to do more of these description exercises in the future.

Then we read what people brought. I had some scenes from Orphan Wars, Rachel had some from The Legend of Mura, Amber had one from her new superhero/vampires story, and Barbara had one about a French girl and her mother. Good work all around, everybody. I'm glad to see everyone's been productive and kept up with writing, even with school going on.

Next week (err... tomorrow) we'll be meeting at Rachel V's house. I'll get directions out to everyone through email. Sorry again for the late notice! I'll try to stay more on top of this stuff. I think we'll have some special celebratory writing exercises for 09/09/09. Fun times, for sure. Bug people to come! We need members!

Also this week, I talked with Ms. Parrish (you know, from T-ville) and she gave me some suggestions for what we can do in our writing group. One of the things she suggested was reading books on writing, such as Eats, Shoots, and Leaves. With my track record with books, I might struggle with something like that, but maybe having a book club aspect to our group will help me. She also suggested we do writing exercises like going to a public place and listening in on conversations to get a better grip on realistic dialogue. This is something we could do on a TRAX venture, probably. Another thing she mentioned was giving out writing assignments for during the week, like using a certain fab vocab word realistically in a scene, or having a focus on dialogue, or whatever. Good ideas, all.

For now, though, come to the meeting tomorrow, and we'll have some fun with the number 9. See you there!

Update

Hey, sorry about the inactivity on my part. With school starting, it's been pretty busy. But I'm making sure to make time for the writing group. I think it's a great thing and a good resource, not to mention social event, for all of us. Come if you can make it! If you have other stuff to worry about, we understand. Keep checking back here for updates!

This week's meeting will be at my house at the regular 7 pm. Bring some fiction or poetry or even essays you're writing for English or other classes. Any writing is welcome at the writing group! :D

How's everybody doing with their goals? Any revisions for school time?